Sabtu, April 19, 2008

History Lesson

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one history lesson people don't mind reading

Mathematics, Malaysian-style

I find it most alarming that Malaysian schools teach our children the wrong things. I mean: can the children really apply what they are taught in school later in life? For example, can you imagine a mathematics question in a recent examination as follows?

"If an egg costs fifty Sen, and if you buy one-eighth of the egg, how much would you have to pay?" Who in heaven's name will want to buy one-eighth of an egg? The shopkeeper will probably think you are crazy and he will be equally stupid to break the egg and measure one-eighth for you. Yet, this is how they structure the questions in Malaysian schools. Why not pose questions that would be more useful later in life when you go out into the world to earn your living?

To help Malaysia's Ministry of Education bet to face the realities of life, we are suggesting some questions they could use in our classrooms.

QUESTION 1

If you drive from Kuala Lumpur to Penang along the PLUS Highway and there are four speed traps along the way, and if each speed trap would cost you RM300.00 in fines, how much in fines would you accumulate by the time you reach Penang?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. I would not suffer any fines as the oncoming cars would flash their headlights and I would slow down before coming to the speed trap.
2. I would only need to pay a total of RM80.00 as I would pay a RM20.00 bribe at each speed trap.
3. I would not be stopped as I am an UMNO Wakil Rakyat so I am exempted from speed traps.

QUESTION 2

If your Bumiputera company is awarded a RM150 million government contract, and you make a 20% profit, how much profit would be at the end of the contract period?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. I will not be making a 20% profit as I would have to pay the Minister 10% and UMNO 5%.
2. I would make 30% profit, which is the progress payment I receive, after which I will abandon the project and let the government call for a re-tender.
3. My company will not make any profit at all as I will siphon out all the profits and show a loss to avoid paying corporate tax.

QUESTION 3

If the ruling party obtained 54% of the popular votes the last election and won 151 or 80% of the seats, and if it saw an increase of 10% in votes this election, how many more seats would it gain?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. The ruling party will not show a 10% increase in votes, as it will stuff the ballot box with another 20% to give it a 30% vote increase.
2. The ruling party will win a ich are the newly created seats in the delineation exercise recently done.
3. The ruling party has already decided it will win 90% of the seats and the votes have nothing to do with it.

QUESTION 4

If the national petroleum company, Petronas, pays a 5% royalty to Terengganu State and if the amount paid is RM800,000,000 per year, how much should Petronas have in the bank accumulated over the last 25 years?

ANSWER (Choose one)

1. Nobody is supposed to know as Petronas need not show its accounts to anyone except the Prime Minister and this information comes under the Official Secrets Act.
2. Petronas earns only 50% of its petroleum revenue from Terengganu so Petronas' total income accumulated in the banks over 25 years should be RM800 billion.
3. Petronas has nothing accumulated in the bank as all the money has spent bailing out companies and finance mega projects.

Who is behind the Death of .........?


This picture is made from faces of 670 soldiers who died in the Iraq War.

Britain English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below - Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians: Celaka u

Life as a Malaysian

The argument in this thread from day one is the cost of living in each country (especially UK and Europe) based on what you earn in the respective country and whether the standards are higher than in Malaysia.

I tried to point out that many Malaysians always convert and that is why they say the UK is expensive. In fact, the cost of living is much cheaper than in Malaysia.

In actual fact, Malaysians are being conned because for such a rich and resource rich country, the pay in Malaysia is way too low compared to the cost of living and inflation.

One good example is Singapore. Singaporeans (average) earns around S$3000 to S$4000
and nearly everything is half the price of Malaysia. E.g. Clothes, computer parts, electronics etc. But the average Malaysian still earns M$2000 plusand goods are double the price of Singapore.

This is the same as the UK. If you earn around 2000 pounds, you can liken this to the person earning RM$2000 in Malaysia. I give you some examples below. Maybe you can understand.

1) Good terrace house

It is more or less the same. If you want a house in KL, it would most probably be in Puchong and not Damansara Heights. So your house would be RM$200,000. In UK, you can get a decent new house in Zone 6 (still within the tube) for 200,000 pounds.

If non London, you can get a nice house also for less than 200,000 pounds outside London. The same also applies to buying a house in Seremban, Kajang etc. You can buy a nice house for RM200,000 below.

So buying a house is the same for the local and the Malaysian.

Renting a place is the same too or maybe cheaper than in Malaysia (I am Not sure of this). A 2-bedroom flat in London is about 750 pounds (Zone 2). 500 pounds outside Zone 6 but still able to commute to London. A 2-bedroom house in Nottingham is 450 to 500 pounds. A 3-bedroom house in Belfast is about 300 pounds.

2) A car

A good Wira is RM$55,000. Most Malaysians have to take 7-year loans and be in debt all the time. If you are earning RM$2000 a month, you take nearly 3 years saving the RM$2000 with not eating at all just to buy a Wira.

In UK, the average local earns about 2000 pounds. He saves 3 months, he can buy outright a good Ford Fiesta or a Vauxhall Corsa without being in debt.

If buying a second hand car, even better. A 1990 Mercedes 190E cost 500 pounds. My 1996 Mercedes E220 cost 2000 pounds. My friend just gave me his 1989 Honda Accord (Auto) for free because he said he could only get 30 pounds for it.

I used it for a few months and decided to give it of for free too. That alone speaks for itself.

Even if you are kuli or an office boy, you still can drive a Mercedes or a BM. Yes, kuli's and office boy's get paid quite well.

Average temp/office boy in London can earn about 7 to 10 pounds and hour. Overtime is 1.5 times or double. A brick-layer can earn 20 pounds an hour.The same Indon who lays bricks in Malaysia earns RM$50 for the whole day.

Before I became a doctor, I used to be an office boy and I earned near 300 pounds a week working about 70 hours a week. My makan was 30 pounds a week. My rent was 70 pounds a week for a room but I still drove a BMW back then. I bought the 10-year old BMW 3 Series car for 200 pounds. Amazing how an office boy can drive a safe and luxurious car.

3) Petrol.

For a UK person earning 2000 pounds, 80 pence a litre/gallon is cheaper than RM$1.37 paid in Malaysia. If you don't convert, it is like paying 80 sen a litre in Malaysia

4) Shopping

20 pounds (which is 1% of 2000 pounds) can buy you 1 week's worth of groceries in Tesco. RM$100 (which is 10% of RM$2000) can also buy you 1 week's worth of groceries in Giant or Carrefour.

5) Utility Bills (This is what I pay in UK)

1. Virtually non-stop heating the whole day only 20 pounds a month. (Only 1% of the 2000 pounds earned)
2. Electricity, I use my electricity maximum only 20 pounds a month. (Only 1% of the 2000 pounds earned)
3. My water bill also comes to about 20 pounds a month (Only 1% of the 2000 pounds earned)
4. My Internet ? I get 2Mbps for about 25 pounds (Bulldog DSL) (Also slightly above 1% of the 2000 pounds earned)
5. Astro Equivalent (NTL cable or Sky) ? 30 pounds per month (Also slightly above 1% of the 2000 pounds earned)

In Malaysia, this is what I used to pay
1. Tenaga Bill comes to RM$200 to RM300 a month with 3 air-cons. This is more than 10% of the RM$2000 earned)
2. Water (Puas) comes to RM$40 (This is about 2% of the RM$2000 earned)
3. Astro RM$100 (if you take Chinese package) (This is about 5% of the RM$2000 you earn)
4. Internet Streamyx 512K RM 88 per month (This is about 5% of RM2000 you earn)

6) Books

A good book is about 10 to 15 pounds in the UK. This is less than 1% of The 2000 pounds you earn. In Malaysia, you have to spend RM$75 to RM$100 for a decent book in MPH or Kinokuniya in KLCC. This is about 5% of the RM$2000 ringgit you earn.

7) Education.

I think it is about RM$20,000 per year to do a degree in Sunway Monash and> about RM$12,000 per year to send your kid to UM, UKM, USM etc. I am not sure about this.

But in UK, it is only 3000 pounds a year to send your kid to a great university. That also, the white man still makes a lot of noise because The grants were taken away. Previously, it was virtually free for the English man to send his kid to university but now, since the grant was taken away, he has to spend 3000 pounds per year to send his kid to university and less money to get drunk in the pub.

Well, if you are earning RM$2000 ringgit, sending your kid to UM to study is quite difficult. If you are earning 2000 pounds per month, you can easily send you kid to university in the UK.

Even worse for the poor non bumi's not given a place in local university. Even if they can afford, they won't get a place because of the quota system. Unfortunately, the Chinaman and the Indian who gets 5A's in STPM have to be sacrificed and not given a place to let the Malay fellow with 2E's and 3 Fail's to enter the Medical Faculty or Law Faculty.

So the non-bumi's have to save RM100,000 per year to send their kid to the UK. In the UK, at least the white man still can go into university based on results and merit and only pay 3000 pounds per year.

7) Luxuries

Panasonic Plasma TV in Malaysia about RM20,000. If you are earning RM$2000 a month, memang mahal! You have to save 2 years your monthly salary to buy it. In UK, the same Panasonic ironically, Panasonic plasma is made in Japan and Japan is close to Malaysia, so the plasma should be cheaper in Malaysia) is only 2000 pounds. And this is only 10% of the 2000 pounds earned.

8) Health

NHS is free. Though the service is slow, quality is still there. You still can get a top quality by-pass for free although you may have to wait many months. In Malaysia, IJN charges RM$30,000. SJMC charges RM$50,000. GH is free but as many people know, GH and UH have clown doctors. For example doctors who wear tudung and use a pen to touch the patient because scared dosa).

9. Assessments to local councils

I may pay high council tax but at least my council assures my streets are clean and safe, got no holes (pot holes) on my roads, and they jump and attend to me whenever I call them. When I stayed in Malaysia, I paid my assessment and quite rent but MPSJ (I lived in Subang) told me to "podah" whenever I asked them to come and fill up the pot holes, cut the long lalang, put street lighting etc. The councils, especially MPPJ and MPSJ, were more interested in eating Nasi lemak and going for 10 teh tariks in a day during office hours and hardly did anything for their residents.

10. Income Tax

My national insurance and income tax also is not wasted. When I was unemployed in 1997, the government via social security paid for my 2-bedroom flat for one whole year and I was given about 100 pounds per week for me and my wife to live on. I am happy to know that one day if I lose My job, I can still claim social security and get my apartment paid and food to eat again for free. It is a good security to know.

Jonathan, the list goes on. Here alone you can see, the sterling you earn goes a long way in the UK. So your quality of life is far better in the UK than a Malaysian in Malaysia. It is just that Malaysians are just too content with what they have. But you compare apple for apple.

The British just love to complain. They have it made but still they love To complain. Nothing is good enough for the British. The government gives the citizens so much but they still seem to want more and more.

Dr Zain Azrai
London

Asal-usul Bahasa Melayu

Untuk mengetahui asal usul Bahasa Melayu kita perlu mengetahui asal-usul penutur aslinya terlebih dahulu, iaitu orang Melayu. Asal-usul bangsa Melayu sehingga kini masih kabur. Akan tetapi beberapa sarjana Eropah seperti Hendrik Kern (Belanda) dan Robert von Heine Geldern (Austria) telah melakukan penyelidikan secara kasar latar belakang dan pergerakan masyarakat Melayu kuno.

Teori mereka menyatakan bahawa bangsa Melayu berasal daripada kelompok Austronesia, iaitu kelompok manusia yang berasal dari daerah Yunan di China yang kemudiannya berhijrah dalam bentuk beberapa gelombang pergerakan manusia dan akhirnya menduduki wilayah Asia Tenggara.

Gelombang pertama dikenali sebagai Melayu-Proto dan berlaku kira-kira 2500 tahun Sebelum Masehi

Kira-kira dalam tahun 1500 tahun Sebelum Masehi, datang pula gelombang kedua yang dikenali sebagai Melayu-Deutro. Mereka mendiami daerah-daerah yang subur di pinggir pantai dan tanah lembah Asia Tenggara. Kehadiran mereka ini menyebabkan orang-orang Melayu-Proto seperti orang-orang Jakun, Mahmeri, Jahut, Temuan, Biduanda dan beberapa kelompok kecil yang lain berpindah ke kawasan pedalaman. Justeru itu, Melayu-Deutro ini merupakan masyarakat Melayu yang ada pada masa kini.

Bahasa Melayu berasal daripada rumpun bahasa Austronesia, manakala bahasa-bahasa Austronesia ini berasal daripada keluarga bahasa Austris. Selain daripada rumpun bahasa Austronesia, rumpun bahasa Austro-Asia dan rumpun bahasa Tibet-Cina.

Rumpun bahasa Austronesia ini pula terbahagi kepada empat kelompok yang lebih kecil :
1. Bahasa-bahasa Kepulauan Melayu atau Bahasa Nusantara.
Contoh : bahasa Melayu, Aceh, Jawa, Sunda, Dayak, Tagalog, Solo, Roto, Sika dan lain-lain.

2. Bahasa-bahasa Polinesia
Contoh : bahasa Hawaii, Tonga, Maori, Haiti

3. Bahasa-bahasa Melanesia
Contoh : bahasa-bahasa di Kepulauan Fiji, Irian and Kepulaun Caledonia

4. Bahasa-bahasa Mikronesia
Contoh : bahasa-bahasa di Kepulauan Marianna, Marshall, Carolina dan Gilbert.

Bahasa Melayu tergolong dalam cabang Bahasa-bahasa Nusantara yang mempunyai bahasa yang paling banyak, iaitu kira-kira 200 hingga 300 bahasa.

Bentuk Bahasa Melayu yang dituturkan di Kepulauan Melayu pada zaman dahulu dikenali sebagai Bahasa Melayu Kuno dan jauh berbeza dengan Bahasa Melayu yang moden. Bentuk Bahasa Melayu Kuno hanya dapat dilihat melalui kesan tinggalan sejarah seperti batu-batu bersurat. Batu-batu bersurat yang menggunakan Bahasa Melayu dipercayai ditulis bermula pada akhir abad ke-7. Sebanyak empat batu bersurat telah dijumpai yang mempunyai tarikh tersebut :

1. Batu Bersurat Kedukan Bukit (683 M) - Palembang
2. Batu Bersurat Talang Tuwo (684 M) - Palembang
3. Batu Bersurat Kota Kapor (686 M) - Pulau Bangka, Palembang
4. Batu Bersurat Karang Brahi (686 M) - Palembang

Berpandukan isinya, penulisan di batu bersurat tersebut dibuat atas arahan raja Srivijaya, sebuah kerajaan yang mempunyai empayar meliputi Sumatera, Jawa, Semenanjung Tanah Melayu, Segenting Kra dan Sri Lanka. Oleh itu, ini menunjukkan bahawa Bahasa Melayu telah digunakan sebagai bahasa rasmi dan bahasa pentadbiran kerajaan Srivijaya, sekaligus meluaskan penyebaran Bahasa Melayu ke tanah jajahan takluknya . Walaupun bahasa pada batu bersurat itu masih berbahasa Sanskrit, akan tetapi masih terdapat pengaruh Bahasa Melayu Kuno di dalamnya.

Istilah "Melayu" timbul buat pertama kali dalam tulisan Cina pada tahun 644 dan 645 Masehi. Tulisan ini menyebut mengenai orang "Mo-Lo-Yue" yang mengirimkan utusan ke Negeri China untuk mempersembahkan hasil-hasil bumi keada Raja China. Letaknya kerajaan "Mo-Lo-Yue" ini tidak dapat dipastikan dengan tegas. Ada yang mencatatkan di Semenanjung Tanah Melayu dan di Jambi, Sumatera.

Selain daripada empat batu bersurat yang disebutkan tadi, terdapat juga bahan-bahan lain yang dihasilkan dalam zaman kerajaan Srivijaya pada abad ke-7 hingga ke-13 Masehi. :

1. Batu Bersurat Gandasuli (832 M) - Gandasuli, Jawa Tengah
2. Sebuah batu bersurat yang dijumpai di Bangkahulu bertarikh 1000 Masehi.
3. Sebuah patung gangsa yang dijumpai di Padang Lawas, Tapanuli bertarikh 1029 M dengan tulisan pada kaki alasnya
4. Sebuah patung di Padang Rocore, Batanghari bertarikh 1286 M dengan catatan perkataan "Malaya" atau "Melayu" pada bahagian belakangnya.

Tabiat Menyebabkan Kerosakan Otak

1. Tidak mengambil sarapan pagi
- Apabila seseorang tidak mengambil sarapan pagi, paras gula dalam darah akan menjadi rendah. Ini akan mengakibatkan kekurangan bekalan nutrisi pada otak dan menjadikannya kurang aktif.

2. Terlebih makan
- Ia akan membebankan pembuluh darah otak dan mengurangkan kuasa mental otak.

3. Perokok
- Asap rokok akan mengakibatkan sel-sel otak terjejas atau terbakar dan boleh mengakibatkan penyakit 'Alzheimer'.

4. Penggunaan gula yang berlebihan
- Pengambilan gula secara berlebihan akan mengganggu penyerapan protein dan nutrisi. Selain daripada itu, ia akan mengganggu perkembangan otak yang sihat.

5. Pencemaran udara
- Otak adalah pengguna oksigen terbesar dalam badan manusia. Pencemaran udara boleh menyebabkan pengurangan bekalan oksigen ke otak dan keaktifan otak.

6. Terlebih tidur
- Tidur adalah bagus untuk merehatkan otak tetapi masa tidur yang panjang boleh mengakibatkan sel-sel otak kita mati.

7. Menutup muka ketika tidur
- Tidur sambil menutup muka akan mengakibatkan otak menerima lebih banyak karbon dioksida berbanding oksigen dan ini akan membawa kerosakan kepada otak.

8. Membiarkan otak bekerja semasa kita berada di dalam keadaan kurang sihat
- Bekerja semasa anda kurang sihat boleh mengurangkan keberkesanan otak dan juga membawa kerosakan kepada sel-sel otak.

9. Kurang berimiginasi
- Berfikir adalah satu cara terbaik untuk melatih otak kita. Kurangnya berimiginasi boleh menyebabkan tahap kecerdasan/keaktifan otak menurun.

10. Jarang berfikir
- Jarang berfikir akan menyebabkan otak kita kurang aktif. Oleh itu, perbincangan yang membina boleh menambah keberkesanan kecerdasan otak kita.